Onion: Sullen Time-Traveling Teen Reports 23rd Century Sucks

From The Onion: Sullen Time-Traveling Teen Reports 23rd Century Sucks:

According to sullen teenager Steve Geremek, the 23rd century, a time previously restricted to the fantastical imaginings of science-fiction writers and futurists, "sucks."

Steve Geremek, shortly after his return from the "totally stupid and lame" year 2202.

"Ah, it was a bunch of boring stuff," said a slouching, mumbling Geremek, 17, at a press conference shortly after his return from the future Monday. "It totally blew."

Geremek, the son of renowned MIT theoretical physicist Irwin Geremek, was transported to the year 2202 last Thursday when he accidentally wandered into an experimental tachyon particle accelerator being developed by his father.

"I was messing around in my dad's thingy and, all of a sudden, there was this flash of purple light," Geremek said. "Next thing I knew, I was surrounded by a bunch of boring future stuff."

Asked to clarify what he meant by "boring future stuff," Geremek said, "I dunno... stuff."

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